Why Am I So Turned Off By My Husband? 15 Reasons and Remedy

Why Am I So Turned Off By My Husband?

However, many women ask, “why am I so turned off by my husband?” This article will show the reasons and the remedy.

Your husband might turn you off because he is not attractive anymore, disrespects you, lacks the effort to make you happy, and might neglect you.

Why Am I So Turned Off By My Husband? 15 Reasons and Remedy

1. Neglect Outside Sex

Women don’t want to feel that their bodies, domestic skills, or mothering abilities are all that they are utilized for. They desire sex to be more than just a sexual act; they want to have their hearts sought and romanced and demand to be fought for repeatedly.

Most importantly, they desire a genuine emotional connection. Eventually, they can physically react. Sexual encounters without an emotional bond can be very off-putting.

This could be one of the reasons why your husband so turns you off.


You can communicate with your husband, telling him how you feel about being treated that way. Talk to him about how that makes you think, and he will change. Sometimes, he might not know he’s hurting you.

2. Lack Of Effort

A wife continually sporting sweatpants, an outdated T-shirt, and her hair in an untidy bun may turn off her spouse. She used to dress cutely for him before they got married, and she should continue to do so occasionally now that they are wed.

Women want to see their husbands make an effort for them as well. They enjoy it when he wears a great shirt, works on his physical fitness, or occasionally spritzes on some cologne.


Talking to your husband about him trying to look good is not a bad idea. Also, you can start by buying him the things you want to see him wearing. You can begin by buying him perfumes, lovely wears, etc.

3. Pornographic Consumption

Several people believe watching porn will “spice up” a marriage and stimulate extramarital sex. Pornographic images, on the other hand, actually have the opposite effect and lead to sexual dysfunction. Your senses become dulled by pornography, and your partner appears unsatisfying.


You can start by quitting porn and being addicted to watching it. Watching porn will make you have wild fantasies, and the problem will begin when your husband is not meeting your expectations. Instead of watching porn, telling him what you want is better.

4. You Are Attracted To Someone Else

Another reason your husband turns you off could be because you are attracted to someone else. You don’t seem to love your husband or find him attractive anymore.


If you feel that discussing this with him might hurt him, I suggest you visit a therapist, open up about your thoughts, and get help.

5. You Bring Outside Stress Into The Marriage

Stress turns into an egotistical sensation once it sets in. Stress can also result in daydreaming and a propensity to take what you currently have for granted. And since we already know that having an emotional affair can be just as harmful as a physical one, stop it and find a fun way to relax.


When you are stressed, try to take some time to rest and have a chill time sometimes. When you are stressed, and your husband attempts to touch you, you might feel irritated because you are tired.

6. He Is Not Your Priority

When your husband is not your priority, you ignore him, so over time, he begins to bore you, and you get tired of him. You will find yourself when you pay attention to your husband and make him your priority.


It’s time to start doing some damage control when you start prioritizing your relationships with your friends, coworkers, and even your irritable elderly neighbor.

Start putting your relationship first to get back to how you felt when you said, “I do,” when your partner was the first person you turned to with any exciting news, grievances, or issues you needed help with. You can restart your relationship after you reclaim your partner’s role in your life.

7. Lack Of Trust

Lack of trust might distort your relationship, mainly if you once had faith in them but have now lost it.

Losing trust may be from breaking one of the relationship’s norms, such as being unfaithful, or it may result from your partner suddenly being less forthcoming than you.

According to a 2020 study looking at cellphone spying behavior and the concept of trust, a lack of trust causes emotional instability, conflict, and the desire to end love relationships.


A feeling of safety in a relationship depends on your ability to trust your spouse. It could be time to think about ending the relationship if you don’t believe you can regain the other person’s trust.

Expressing to your partner how you feel about the relationship’s level of trust is crucial. When you do this, a husband who cares about you will try to make up for what happened to ease your worries.

8. Not Being Available

A close relationship calls for quality time spent together. Some relationships break up because of issues that prevent them from being together.

Long periods of physical separation, working longer hours or different hours from your spouse, holding down numerous jobs, and frequent travel are a few examples. Extended stretches of physical separation can cause partnerships to become emotionally distant.

There are many things in our environment that can serve as diversions. A missed opportunity for connecting may include going out to dinner and scrolling on your phone rather than talking to your date.

Going out together and putting aside distractions like work and phones can sometimes be all the bonding you need.


Relationship communication can be enhanced with mindfulness and deliberate attention to the present moment, benefitting your general well-being.

Not Being Available

9. Lack Of Bonding

Without being malicious or cruel, all relationships eventually drift apart. When two people are floating down a leisurely river in inner tubes, they will naturally drift apart if they don’t hang on to each other.

All relationships develop over time, and when one partner becomes accustomed to the other, they often become critical.

Couples get busy and stop doing the activities that sparked feelings of connection earlier, frequently resulting in “affection deprivation” and ADD or “attention deficit issue.”

Although most people associate intimacy with having sex, intimacy also involves feeling connected, open, and vulnerable to your spouse. Familiarity might include having sex, but it can also involve having an emotional connection with your spouse.

Intimacy also involves expressing your feelings and opinions without passing judgment. You might feel distanced from your lover if there is no level of closeness between you.


The solution is finding time to do things that bring you both together. Sometimes, it can be a task where it requires joint efforts. When you bond with your husband, it makes it easy for you to be able to reconnect with him.

10. Violence Or Abuse

In a relationship, any violence or abuse would probably make you feel distanced from your partner. A trusting, honest, or constructive relationship cannot be characterized by violent or abusive behavior.

If you’re in this kind of relationship, you could avoid your spouse like the plague out of dread and concern for your safety.


If you’re experiencing abuse, you might want to consider getting professional support.

Violence Or Abuse

11. Trauma

There is a probability that you have some issues from your history or your current life to work through if you are someone who experiences emotional blunting or emotional distance in relationships.


You can either seek out a therapist for talk therapy or attempt working through it on your own by reviewing your life’s events and analyzing everything that has happened to you.

12. Emotional Detachment

You may feel turned off by your husband because you have an emotional detachment and can shut down on people for no apparent reason.

Successful therapy depends on identifying the underlying reason because emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis but a symptom of numerous other physical and mental problems.


Individual counseling sessions with the right therapist can assist you in developing self-awareness and exploring the cause, giving you a better understanding of yourself and assisting you in reconnecting with normal emotions if emotional detachment is one of the coping mechanisms you have developed as a result of poor background-attachment in childhood, demanding work environments, or as part of your cultural background.



There is frequently a sense of excitement and anticipation surrounding the “newness” of the relationship when most new partnerships are created. Many pleasant neurochemicals are released by our bodies and brains that are intended to strengthen romantic bonds.

Yet eventually, the novelty wears off for every marriage, and the worries and flaws of reality set in. Retaining that sense of closeness and the connection gets harder as busy schedules, bills, and infants appear.

Sometimes, you become detached, and your partner begins to disgust you, or their touch or presence turns you off.

However, this article has provided remedies to the reasons listed there.


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