When you reach that stage, you might wonder, “Why won’t my husband fight for our marriage?” You should be aware that you are not the first to ponder this issue and won’t be the last.
Being in this circumstance is frustrating. You exchanged vows, committing to live your life together. He needs to try to defend your marriage no matter what is going on, right?
Yes, in a perfect world. However, the society in which we live could be better. You wouldn’t be reading this right now if we did.
People act in specific ways for various reasons. This doesn’t mean you did something that caused your husband to act differently than you anticipated or desired.
Therefore, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you are to blame for his shift of perspective toward your marriage. Discovering his reasons for not wanting to save the wedding should be your priority before seeking remedies.
Why Won’t My Husband Fight For Our Marriage
1. He Has Someone Else
Although devastating, it is also one of the leading causes of married men losing interest in their unions. In fact, according to the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of married men admit to having had an extramarital affair.
There’s a good likelihood he’s constantly thinking about another woman who has captured his eye. If this is the case, you must decide whether to stay in your marriage or end it.
Because he is still committed to another relationship, your husband might struggle to achieve for you.
He may not want to work on the marriage because he wants to dissolve both relationships to pursue other people.
Understanding the reasons behind your husband’s desire to fight for your marriage is essential because doing so will help you decide how much effort to put out.
There is hope if you choose the former. According to statistics, 60 to 80 percent of marriages recover from infidelity. Even some claim to be happy. The choice is entirely up to you in any case.
2. He Has Lost Interest
This is the simplest to identify and resolve. Unfortunately, because it happens so frequently, most individuals ignore it.
Some guys find a committed relationship to be monotonous and uninteresting. What was once a passionate romance becomes a habit as time passes, and the marriage may stagnate.
He no longer exudes the same eagerness. Your partner might be experiencing this right now.
This does not necessarily imply that he no longer loves you.
3. He Is Afraid Of Failure
Your husband could not be fighting for your marriage because he is terrified of a potential collapse.
A man may put a relationship on hold or avoid it entirely if he fears failing.
A man who fears failure may occasionally fail to recognize a problem in his marriage. A guy may strive to maintain his happiness by devoting his time and attention to something other than his marriage.
Nobody enjoys losing, especially guys who were taught to gauge their success, happiness, and accomplishments by looking outside themselves. Marriage is a spillover from this. Most men desire to “win” not in a competitive sense with their spouse but rather in terms of having a happy marriage.
The fear of failing paralyzes many guys, and many men decide to downplay their efforts rather than forge ahead and get it wrong. They can therefore declare, “I tried,” without actually taking a chance.
4. He Wants Freedom
He views marriage as enslavement and longs to regain his freedom.
Typically, something causes this. It can be a seductive coworker, watching his pals “living the high life,” or just irritation with your current relationship.
Another factor your husband may use to fight for your marriage is freedom.
“Freedom is important because it enables you to be yourself without concern for other people’s opinions.”
Your husband might view marriage as another commitment that would take away his freedom if he loves it.
Whatever the cause, his yearning for connection is weaker than his need for freedom.
The prospect of remaining with one person forever could make him feel confined. Even though his ideals do not align with what marriage entails, he may view divorce as a way to obtain this freedom.
5. He Considers It Difficult To Manage Emotions
When asking the question, “why won’t my husband fight for our marriage?” this is another point to note. There are some (note the emphasis on “some”) psychological variations in how men’s and women’s brains are built, despite the massively exaggerated cliché that women operate from emotions and intuition and men from logic and analysis.
He might avoid the subject because he is uncomfortable talking about his sentiments or emotions for fear of appearing weak.
Some males isolate their emotions as a form of self-preservation. They can also think that showing their feelings makes them less intense.
6. He Is Going Through Tough Times
His career, finances, or losing a loved one might be to blame. Men experience crises differently than women and frequently exhibit emotional detachment in their relationships when going through difficult situations.
There isn’t much need to discuss losing a loved one because most people know its impact on everyone’s relationships. You should be aware that males are more likely than females to feel the financial strain on their relationship if the issue is economic.
The amount of pressure men are under in today’s culture is demonstrated in this article. At the same time, both men and women are required to work and support their families; when the former encounter financial challenges, the former’s ego comes into play. The marriage relationship could suffer as a result of this.
7. He Does Not See The Need To
When a guy does not see the value in fighting for his marriage, he may entertain the thought of divorcing his wife.
Sadly, many guys prioritize their partner’s sentiments over their own.
He might be more likely to go through with it if he thinks you are relaxed about divorce. If this is the case, discussing your relationship in depth can be helpful so that your husband better understands your needs and wants.
It must be complex to persuade your husband that he is getting what he wants from the marriage if he believes otherwise. Disaffection might cause resentment, which could impact your entire relationship.
8. He Wants To Fix It, But He Doesnt Know How To
Men and women both have unique strategies for getting through life. You may not be correct just because you believe your husband won’t stand up for your marriage. Because he sees the issue differently than you do, even if your spouse genuinely wants to mend your marriage, he still determines how to proceed or where to begin.
Is My Marriage Worth Fighting For?
It’s reasonable to start wondering how your marriage will fare when you watch others’ divorces. It could be your brother’s or sister’s failed marriage, your parents’ failed union, or both.
Perhaps you know a couple who married the same year as you and has since experienced a dramatic and ugly divorce.
Unfortunately, there are so many stories, and the themes are so familiar that we’ve become desensitized to them.
In this world, there is a lot of negative news that we can only take in so much before we switch the page or scroll down to something more cheerful and inspiring.
However, terrible news concerning marriage might serve as a helpful wake-up call and reminder to focus on ourselves. Hearing about a failing marriage can inspire us to examine our own and give it an honest evaluation. And if your wedding is in trouble, remember that it can work out and is worth fighting for.
A marriage must be constantly fed and nurtured if it is to last. Your relationship starts to fall apart or dissolve when you cease monitoring its condition and decide that “everything is well.”
Marriages need routine checkups and spiritual and relational health evaluations to detect minor issues, just as most of us plan annual medical checks for our health and undertake preventative tests.
Also, one of the things to always remember is that your partner could be better. Give them some time while doing your obligations. Don’t just give up yet. Remember and always think of why you even loved your partner in the first place.
Someone must take the initial step. In any marriage, fights, and arguments are frequent and nearly always inevitable. You will both have to pass over this bump in the road. It is usually a time of trials, hurts, and even anger, but you can only work on it or give up.
When your husband is not fighting for your marriage, you can try to do it yourself and constantly remind him that you are there. In fighting for your home, taking the necessary precautions not to let yourself go is also good.
However, if your husband still refuses to fight for your marriage, a divorce is an option, and you are at liberty to call the shot when all else fails, but this should be your last option.