What do I do when my wife yells at me? We are more likely to raise our voices when we feel frustrated, upset, angry, or tired, but when a person is constantly yelled at, it can make them feel useless, scared, or anxious.
People usually lose their temper when their emotions are too intense and lash out in ways that include getting verbally aggressive. Some people also have less control over their tongues when expressing negative emotions.
My Wife Yells At Me (10 Ways To Overcome As I Did)
Your wife might yell at you for many reasons, but it is not a good way for a married couple to communicate. Yelling at someone shuts down communication between you and them.
Yelling is not always done to express negative emotions; people yell out to get attention when they are in danger or need help.
Many people believe that only men are capable of one abuse or the other, but signs of abuse have been noticed in women too. Marriage is supposed to be a safe space for the couple in the union, so it can be unbearable when your wife yells at you.
Women are often seen as the weaker gender and usually have little control over their emotions, but this does not apply to every woman.
There are many reasons for someone to get irritated, and everyone’s ability to regulate their emotions is different.
Your wife might yell for many reasons, some of which include the following:
1. When She Feels Disrespected Or Ignored By You
You might have done something she finds disrespectful to her or anyone she cares about. Everyone usually has a reason behind their anger.
You might have crossed her boundaries or done something inappropriate, like insulting her, her friends, her family, or something she likes.
Some women raise their voices when they want attention. If she expects you to pay attention to her, she might raise her voice to get your reaction.
2. Stress, Anxiety, And Pressure
Stress is one of the most common reasons for people to lose their temper, as are anxiety and pressure.
Not everyone can function well under pressure; many usually lose control of their emotions and snap.
Something might be bothering her. She might have been bottling it inside herself until it bursts out.
If you have children and she has a job, she could feel like she is under a lot of pressure, especially if she is the one who juggles preparing them for school and taking and bringing them back from school alone.
This could make her act out aggressively to express how burdened she feels.
3. To Emphasize A Point
Your wife can raise her voice to emphasize a point, especially when she feels like she is not being heard.
This can also be out of frustration, and she might not know any other way to express herself except by raising her voice.
She might feel that if her voice is louder, then you will listen more.
4. Out Of Disrespect To You
Your wife can yell at you out of sheer disrespect and disregard. Things like your finances or rude behavior are enough reasons for your wife to resent you.
5. Lacks Control Over Her Emotions
Some people lack control of their emotions and often lash out at every opportunity. This could be a result of indiscipline or remnants of her adverse experiences.
Verbally aggressive behaviors can be symptoms of her past bad experiences.
10 Ways To Overcome Being Yelled At By Your Wife
Whether you are at fault or not is not enough for someone to yell at you. Yelling is a form of expression for many people, but also a form of verbal abuse that should not be encouraged. There are better ways to express oneself without hurting the next person.
There are many ways to overcome being yelled at by your wife. Some of them include the following:
1. Do Not Yell Back At Your Wife
Yelling back will only worsen the situation and make it unresolvable. Two wrongs do not create a right; yelling back worsens things.
You will not only be unable to focus on the problem but also upset your wife.
If you both yell at each other, it will be difficult for proper communication to be made; none of your issues will be resolved.
If you want to resolve the issues between you and your wife, you should try not to lose your temper and yell back at her as much as possible.
2. Try To Calm Your Wife Down
One of the most valuable things to do to someone spiraling out of control is to try to calm them down.
She might struggle to express his emotions calmly, hence the outburst. Try to understand her.
3. Listen Carefully And Pay Attention
Listen carefully to the things your wife might say and respond accordingly. This will give her the impression that you are paying attention to her.
If you carefully listen to what she says, you can understand her or point out which one of her needs is unmet. You can also try repeating some sentences to show that you follow closely.
This will also make her feel like you understand her. This way, you can rebuild your relationship on a better foundation.
4. Stay Calm
You might be tempted to take many actions when being yelled at, but one of the best responses is to remain calm.
At this point, you do not necessarily have to do anything apart from listening. Maybe her emotions are so pent-up that she must let it all out.
Allow your wife to express herself, do not react immediately; you can do that later. Maintain a calm disposition, but you can always walk away if you cannot bear it. When you do not retaliate, there is a possibility that she will calm down quicker.
5. Figure Out Why Your Wife Yells At You
Take your time and access all aspects of her conversations. If you can find out why she is upset, it will be easier for you to make up for your possible shortcomings; if you are at fault.
It is not always advisable to invite a third party into the marriage, to help you resolve your issues because sometimes if you consider all the reasons that she might be mad at you and then try to take an appropriate approach to solve your problems, it might not be challenging to resolve the issues of your marriage with your wife.
If you realize why your wife gets upset, you can address how she feels and how to provide for her needs eventually.
6. Express How You Feel
Nobody likes to be yelled at, and if it is unbearable for you to be shouted at by your wife, you have every right to talk to her about how you feel.
Communication is essential in a relationship, and when you both listen and talk to each other about everything, it will be easier to have a peaceful household.
7. Avoid Trigger Topics
There might be topics that trigger your wife’s yelling episodes. It will be better to approach such issues carefully or avoid them altogether if possible.
8. Postpone The Conversation
During arguments, you both might be tense, and either of you might quickly lose your temper. If the situation gets to that extent, progressing won’t be easy.
It will be better to postpone the conversation and talk when you have better control over your emotions.
9. Find A Better Way To Communicate With Your Wife
Communication is very vital to every relationship. Yelling at someone shuts down communication, even for those skilled in the art.
The problem could be in how you both approach your subject, so if you find a way to express yourselves to each other, there might not be any more yelling.
You can quickly address the issue when you understand the situation and her reasons for acting like that.
10. Visit A Marriage Counselor
The importance of a counselor can not be over-emphasized. If you have tried all the strategies above and your wife still yells at you, then it is high time you visit a marriage counselor.
You can choose to attend counseling sessions alone or with your wife if you both agree to it. It is not always advisable to involve a third party in your marriage issues, but if that seems like the right path for your marriage, then you can proceed.
Being yelled at is not a pleasant sight or experience; if it is constant, it can negatively affect your self-esteem and confidence.
It cannot be very comfortable to be yelled at, but like every other challenge, it can be overcome. However, it would be best if you tried to be patient with your spouse and understand that some people take time to change for the better, but with effort and consistency, they do eventually.