As a husband, you’ve mostly pondered why your wife nags; here are 15 Reasons why my wife yells at me (How I reacted Properly).
Marriage is about understanding and respecting each other. If this fact is not mutual between the partners, the basic foundation of their partnership is bound to be broken.
You must understand that your partner is an independent human being with rights, values, and principles, and it should guide how you treat them.
15 Reasons Why My Wife Yells At Me (How I reacted Properly)
Conflict is a normal part of marriage and a relationship. How you react is essential and helps you solve the problem quickly. You tend to hurt your relationship when you regularly swear or yell at each other.
Under no circumstances should a wife yell at her husband or subject him to emotional abuse. The effects of yelling at a spouse can devastate the institution of marriage.
Although yelling in relationships is wrong, the following reasons could be the cause of your spouse yelling at you:
1. She Feels Unheard And Ignored
In marriage, it is necessary to always listen to each other. Communication helps to strengthen the connection between you.
If you have issues and your spouse is complaining, you need to understand her point of view and show that you heard her. Otherwise, you may resort to yelling as a way out if she feels like you’re just hearing her without listening.
She needs some attention, which indicates why she is raising her voice.
Your wife wants you to listen carefully to her and have some feedback when she tells her story so you can make sure you make time for her.
For example, when you get home from work, you love to watch football or explore it on the net, while she expects you to pay attention to her and ask how her day is.
This situation gives her the idea that you are neglecting her and that she means nothing to you. Pay attention to this critical reason. Otherwise, it will affect your entire relationship.
2. You Are Not Responsible And Reliable
Moreover, remember that she may think you are not responsible, which causes her to remind you of all your duties.
To be more precise, women have a great aversion to idleness.
Hence, if they realize you do not have a suitable profession due to your laziness, they will show hatred for your qualities.
Screaming is a sign of their displeasure. Women always want their men to be active and responsible, and you shouldn’t act irresponsibly like children.
So the next time she yells at you, make sure she’s not mad about your duties; you do not want her to lose faith in knowing you are a provider.
In other words, your spouse feels that she cannot trust you. Therefore, she no longer finds you trustworthy and feels she has to emphasize everything you say. Try to remember the promises you made and the critical issues you forgot. She may show her anger by yelling at you if you never keep your promises.
3. You May Have Crossed The Red Line
Consider the issues she mentions in her arguments, as she may have said some of your mistakes.
You may have done or said something she is sensitive to. Or, you may have crossed the line and done inappropriate things, like insulting her, her family, her friends, or what she loves.
Remember, if you have publicly criticized her or hurt her feelings in other ways.
4. A Financial Problem
Another excellent reason for your spouse’s dissatisfaction may be your financial situation.
Being unable to cover living expenses or contribute appropriately to a household can harm someone. If money is essential to your wife, and she can’t make enough of it, she might get frustrated and yell at you.
If you have a low income, this may upset her a lot because she may not be able to become the breadwinner for your home as she has to take care of the kids and handle her job.
Thus, she can panic about her and her children’s future lives. You may be expected to find a suitable job to provide for your family.
5. Your Wife Is Under A Lot Of Stress
My wife yells at me at any slightest provocation.” Maybe your wife is screaming because she’s nervous, and stress is a significant anxiety triggered by difficult situations and a trigger for crying.
Your spouse’s stress may be due to focus at work, strenuous physical activities, too much housework, or babysitting and childcare.
If you have kids and she has a job, she may feel like she’s under a lot of pressure. Therefore, she may act aggressively to show you how she is burdened with too many duties.
Your spouse feels that dealing with a job and taking care of the kids can be overwhelming if her partner doesn’t contribute to the housework.
” As humans, it’s natural to want to give up when you can’t cope. Therefore, yelling at you is a way to fight back.
6. Not Attractive Enough!
Another reason for your wife to yell at you is that she may feel no longer attractive to you as she ages.
In other words, as people get older, they change, and sometimes those changes are unpleasant.
Therefore, these changes can lead to decreased self-confidence and suspicion that their partner will not be attracted to them. Women always have concerns about getting older.
If you tease her about her age, she will feel insecure about her appearance.
7. Past Experiences
Aggressive behaviors could be symptoms of bad experiences in the past.
An angry wife may be a sign that she was humiliated in her previous relationships, which prevents her from trusting anyone.
Find out if she had bad experiences with her family or ex-partner.
For example, she may have experienced domestic violence and witnessed her parents’ fights at home. Her ex may have cheated on her.
8. Reaction To Your Behavior
You may have yelled at her and said nasty things that upset her and made her anxious. Therefore, she yells at you in response.
To be clear, your behavior may be inappropriate and could humiliate her in public, so she wants revenge.
She wants to make you realize that you have no right to act in such a rude way. For example, you may have made fun of her clothes, body, and job, which humiliated her publicly and damaged her self-esteem.
9. She Doesn’t Love You Anymore!
Losing interest in you could be another reason for you to yell all the time until you end the relationship with her.
This can also affect your sexual relationship. When some people have no reasons to break up with you, they try to make you resent them so that you end your relationship voluntarily.
These people do not want to be with you. They want your financial support. Or you may have some other benefit to them. They will break up with you if they are uninterested in you.
10. She’s Frustrated
“My wife is yelling at me. Why?” Your wife may yell at you because she is frustrated. Of course, something is causing frustration, and it could be anything from stress, your behavior, a fight with a friend, etc.
11. You’re Not Helping Her Enough
Home chores sometimes seem easy to individuals who are just a little involved. If your wife is the one who does the housework every day, and she doesn’t try to help, this can lead to frustration, anger, and then yelling at you.
Even if your wife is a housewife, her contribution to the home is as valuable as your work to earn money. Therefore, helping her does not devalue you or make you less of a spouse.
12. She Has Pent-Up Anger
Repressed anger means anger that has been withheld and not adequately expressed. This usually happens when problems arise and are waiting to be resolved.
For example, if your partner complains about something and you don’t do it, they might keep quiet about it. From now on, if you notice that she flares up over minor issues, she is upset over unresolved matters, and her outburst relates to past unsolved cases.
13. You Lied To Her
“My wife yelled at me.” She may have found out that you lied to her. Remember, if you’ve recently done something to yourself to get yelled at. This is important, especially if your wife is yelling hard at you.
The lie may be white, but it doesn’t matter now. All your wife knows is that you lied to her. If you can do that, it will tell her she cannot fully trust you.
14. She Learned It Somewhere
Our background has a significant influence on our actions in life. When a wife constantly yells at her husband, it may be because her parents were strict and abusive while they were growing up.
As a result, she already considers it a habitual way of responding to situations beyond her control. If you suspect this may be the case with your partner, please go for relationship counseling as soon as possible. You need professional help as a couple.
15. She Feels Terrible About Her Progress
Marriage is best enjoyed when the partners are growing both financially and functionally. If the husband is progressing at his job, but the wife is feeling sluggish, she may develop pent-up anger, which leads to frustration and then screaming.
Your wife may not like that she hasn’t done enough in her life yet, mainly if the delay is caused by childbirth and breastfeeding. Also, if you seem to have a more fulfilling career than she does, this might piss her off.
Ways to respond when your wife yells at you
First, there is no excuse for a wife to yell at her husband. However, it is better to know how to act appropriately. Check out the following tips to guide you on what to do when your wife is yelling at you:
1. Don’t Shout Back
Two wrongs do not make a right. While giving your wife a taste of her medicine seems easy, please don’t do it. Yelling at her will only make it worse and unsolvable.
Instead, stay calm and step back if you get too close. Also, you can take a walk to calm down from the impact of screaming.
2. Communicate When She Is Calm
Notice when your partner is quiet and talk to her. Tell her to understand that there is a reason for her action and that you are willing to hear it.
Assure her that you won’t judge her if she speaks up. No matter how she reacts, try to stay calm and speak in the lightest tone possible.
3. Don’t Blame Her
You’re on the receiving end, but try not to take this opportunity to blame her. Those who do bad things know precisely what they did.
They know it has effects even if they can’t fully comprehend it. So, please don’t blame her; otherwise, it will escalate the problem. Instead, let her calm down and reflect on her actions.
4. Take Your Time And Evaluate All Aspects Of Her Words
You can easily find out the purpose of her behavior. If you realize why she is angry, talk to her immediately and apologize for your wrongdoings.
Try to compensate for your misbehavior with an excellent reward, like a great dinner at her favorite restaurant.
5. Listen Carefully And Pay Attention
Listen carefully and respond when she’s talking to you so she feels like you’re paying attention.
You can repeat things you say in other words. This gives her the feeling that you understand her problems, and she tells you more about her concerns because she trusts you as her confidant.
In this way, you can rebuild your relationship.
6. Learn A Better Way To Communicate With Her. (NVC Technology)
You can quickly tell the purpose of her behavior by better understanding her unmet needs if you listen carefully to what she has to say.
If you understand why she’s angry, you can address how she feels and how to meet her needs eventually.
Communication is vital in a relationship, and learning the powerful and essential tool of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) technique can lead to a more peaceful time with it.
7. Try To Calm Her Down After An Argument
Try to be friendly and act in a way that you understand. Tell her you to think she’s perfect, and show her how precious she is to you.
For example, you can buy flowers she likes or a memorable gift.
By doing these little things, you make sure that you love her and no one else, which can go a long way in boosting her confidence and self-esteem.
Through this approach, you keep her from comparing herself to younger women.
8. Show Her That You Know Your Responsibilities
Show that you are willing to take on more responsibility for household chores so that you are not pressured into having too many responsibilities.
Please take responsibility for most household chores until you realize you care about their health and know your duties.
Being responsible is a way to show her how much you love and care about her. For example, you might make dinner and wash the dishes before you leave work.
You should set aside some time to spend with your children so that she can do things in her free time, such as shopping or meeting friends, which can be very helpful in reducing her stress and keeping her out of trouble.
In addition, you should be more involved in children’s education and participate in school events occasionally. For example, attend parent-teacher meetings to show her how much you care about your kids.
9. Talk To Her And Take Her To A Counselor
If you’ve done everything above and she’s still yelling at you, talk to her and ask if she wants to work on your relationship.
You can get some help from counselors. Counselors can contribute significantly to this journey by using techniques to find the roots of this aggressive attitude in her past.
For example, a counselor can find out if a person has experienced trauma by asking probing questions. Therefore, they can quickly discover that her screaming is a relic of her adverse experiences.
When they discover the problem, they refer you to a psychologist for more professional treatments.”
If your wife still shouts at you after doing everything stated before, you should not let her continue her disrespectful behavior.
In this case, you should ask her if she wants to break up with you. If that is what she wants, we recommend you end your relationship as you are the person who may experience adverse mental and physical disorders and verbal abuse.
Being in an agitated environment may pave the way for various mental disorders, such as stress and aggressiveness, as well as physical problems like MS and high blood pressure.
You need to try your best to make everything right to improve your relationship with your wife since you might be the main reason she screams a lot.
Therefore, take your time and test all the ways we recommend. But if, after all the attempts you made, your partner did not want to change and accompany you to rebuild your relationship, you should respect yourself and try to leave that person as soon as possible.